The story of Wolraad Woltemade and Vonk
If you went to school before the 1990’s, chances are that the story of Wolraad Woltemade formed part of your history curriculum.
Wolraad lived in the Cape colony as dairy farmer during the 1700’s. In 1773, a ship called “Jonge Thomas”was driven ashore in a gale at the mouth of the Salt River in Table Bay. Although many of the sailors had already drowned by the time Wolraad came to the beach, there were still a number of survivors clinging to the hull of the ship. He mounted his trusted steed, Vonk, and the swam into the icy waters toward the shipwreck. Here he urged two survivors to grab onto his horse’s tail and he swam them back to shore. He rode out seven times, saving 14 men.
However, when he went out the eighth time, himself and his horse were terribly exhausted. The ship had also begun to collapse by the time they reached it again. Six desperate sailors flung themselves at the hero and his horse, realising that this may be their last chance to be saved.
In their eighth attempt to save more people, Wolraad Woltemade and Vonk drowned. And they became heroes.
I have often wondered how stories like these (and Racheltjie de Beer) become part of a nations psyche. You are considered a hero when you give your life for the sake of others.
The unsung heroes
Becoming a mother initially requires somewhat of a Wolraad Woltemade mindset: baby hungry? Get up and feed him! Baby tired? Get up and put her to bed! Baby has a dirty nappy? Get up and change the nappy. Baby bump his head? Get up and kiss the boo-boo.
I may love a glass of wine, but for the sake of my unborn baby, I renounce it for nine months. I may love sleep, but for the sake of my newborn, I renounce it for years. I may hate cooking, but selflessly end up feeding another human being every 3-4 hours (initially, and again when they are teenagers!). Even important relationships with my husband and friends take a back seat to this little being who is 100% dependent on me for their survival.
You won’t read about them in history textbooks, but mothers are truly heroes.
Stuck in a Wolraad Woltemade mindset
Many women who cross my path - on a personal and professional level - are simple exhausted. It is as if they have been in the Wolraad Woltemade mindset for so long, they assume that it is the way it has always been and that it can not be changed. They keep pouring into other people’s lives long after their own cup has run dry.
They make no attempt to rediscover - let alone pursue - their own desires. Between the children’s schedules, the family responsibilities and their day job, they feel selfish and guilty to take time or money or energy or resources away from their families to invest in themselves.
Your loved ones deserve that you don’t drown
My dear friend, this feeing of languishing is not as good as it gets. You were made to flourish and thrive, not simply survive. And I want to put it even stronger: your loved ones deserve that you take time and money and energy and resources to invest in yourself. Your loved ones deserve a wife / mother / colleague / friend / daughter who is living her best life. Who has her mojo. They want to bask in the overflow of your bubbling fountain, not in the scraps and leftovers.
It is something you will hear me say often: when you become who you want to be, everyone that matters will benefit. Investing in yourself is not a selfish act, you are doing it because everyone who loves you deserve it.
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